February 2025

My (Linda's) mind has occasionally drifted back to this blog, trying to remember when was the last time I made a simple entry.  I ran across my contact for Blogspot a hour ago when updating my contact lists in Google. I was prompted to check out the blog. I can't believe it's been nearly nine years since my last entry...and it's been an event filled nine years, indeed.  Knowing that this blog is likely perpetual, I suppose I should update this record - albeit in abbreviated form.

From 2016 on, our lives were filled with countless medical visits and specialists and days in physical and speech therapy as Ray worked hard to fend off the slow but steady Parkinson's decline in his speech, swallowing, and mobility. We enjoyed family and time with friends, including watching dozens of baseball games with grandchildren. Our granddaughter, Hailey, was married in fall 2017.  Within two years we were proud great-grandparents to both a great-granddaughter and a great-grandson. Hailey went on to earn her teaching degree. She's been a very popular and gifted Biology instructor at Viewmont High School in Bountiful. After a difficult few years, Hailey is now a single mom, but still thriving. We're proud of her. Her sister, Faith, switched her field of study and is now in her first year of teaching special education students at Farmington Jr. High. Grandsons are working; the older also studying Finance at Western Governors. Online learning has benefited them all. Our youngest granddaughter is a Sophomore at Viewmont.  

Ray and I took our last "long" road trip in August of 2016. The impracticality of it intrigued us. We drove cross-country to Maine and into the Maritime provinces of Canada. Ray's ability to stay sharp with his Parkinson's limited his driving to familiar roads through Colorado. Linda took over all the driving for the remainder of the wonderful, 7600-mile, eighteen-day excursion. We snagged a day or more in all of the maritime provinces. The ferry to Labrador and Newfoundland was tempting, but we had to concede that option. After leaving Ontario, we drove across the midlands of Canada and reentered the U.S. into Montana at Port Raymond. We had then checked off a visit (stepped into or spent significant time) in every state (except Hawaii) and every province (except Labrador/Newfoundland and Nunavik. We joined Ray's brother and sister-in-law, Kathy and Jeff, for a trip to Banff and Jasper in summer 2017. Our last vacation in Fall 2019 found us visiting family (Aunt Charlotte Connors and sons) in California and spending a few days enjoying the coast of Oregon with our friends, the VanAdrighems. 

2020 was a pivotal year. Ray had spent a couple of weeks in the Northern Utah Rehabilitation Hospital (NURH) in South Ogden in 2018 after a short ICU hospitalization connected with GI issues and his Parkinson's. The probability of a future in a wheelchair for Ray became more and more sure.  We began looking for a home without stairs. Prices were high. It would be a challenge. We felt when we were guided to the perfect location and situation. South Weber is 15 miles further north than our Bountiful home, but near the NURH and a speech therapist to whom we had shifted to from our Bountiful providers. The Collins, former neighbors from Bountiful, had relocated there to a new construction home in a 55+ community. We had connections with the builder and designed it to be completely ADA accessible - a patio/slab home with no stairs. Because of South Weber's more distant location from SLC, we were able to sell our Bountiful home of 48 years at the same price as the new home. 

The Covid Pandemic of 2020 hit while we waited for our new home to be completed. When the lockdown began, Ray was no longer able to go to PT or see therapists in person. He declined rapidly. We arranged his readmission to the NURH in late May. Except for Linda and son, Dave, who lived close by, the family had to visit Ray through the window as he recuperated. He was in surgery having a feeding tube implanted into his abdomen on the day the moving truck arrived to clear out our Bountiful home and move things to South Weber. It was the last day Ray walked. His confinement to a wheelchair began.  2020 brought a new home; a new pattern of life and experiences; new neighbors, Zoom Church meetings; and a bundle of blessings that came and continued.

Ray's medical story is well-documented for family elsewhere. His physicians finally confirmed something we had suspected. His "atypical" Parkinson's was recognized as Multiple System Atrophy. More complex; more aggressive. Ray's one wish was that he didn't go to a care center. He was not afraid of dying or pain or declining. He just hoped to stay at home. Our son, David, moved in for what we thought would be a short stint to help out. We learned the skills to care for him and privately paid for some help now and then. We had a few tough days now and then, along with many special and tender moments. Ray retained his sense of humor and determination and personality. His cognitive decline was minor; no Lewy Body dementia; his moods reflected an amazing humility and acceptance of whatever the Lord had planned for us. Linda failed on rare occasions, but felt the support of the Lord directly and through friends, family, and wonderful new neighbors. We laughed. We cried. We prayed. We got back to Church in person. We shared stories and worked on his personal history while Ray could still talk. He made it through Christmas 2020; then Christmas 2021, much to our surprise. His voice and body grew weaker and weaker; he only tasted food because he could no longer safely swallow. We stopped the speech therapy, but continued his Physical and Occupational Therapy. Ray loved "going" to therapy and getting out of the house every day. 

We enjoyed dinner with family on Mother's Day 2022. Ray smiled and laughed as he interacted with the great-grandchildren. He was annoyed that he couldn't eat the full meal; tastes of pudding and soft foods had long since lost their luster. We were happy and content. The next day, May 9, 2022, he had a shower and waited while a new home health aide came to change a deep wound dressing. We talked about placing him on hospice later in the week. Ray watched television, and we helped him into bed at his usual 9:30 p.m.  Ray and I would always say prayers together at this time. I miss those moments. By midnight, rattled breathing began. We had experienced it before. I woke him to check on how he was feeling. His eyes followed me as I moved around his hospital bed. His expression communicated a bit of annoyance: "Let me sleep." In a few precious, calm, and loving moments, he slipped away. I called for David.  "Dad just passed away."  Dave came into the room, and as I had done previously, he shook his dad and called him loudly to see if he was simply unconscious. We were holding Ray's hands as his eyes fluttered open for an instant, and then closed again. Instantly, the unrelenting tension that had imprisoned the muscles in his body for so many months was gone. His hands and limbs were relaxed and limp He had been freed from his earthly chains, now in the loving arms of our Savior and his Heavenly Father. We were blessed with a sweet, sacred experience that night. Our son, Michael, and his wife, Wendy, drove up from Centerville. We were able to spend nearly two hours with Ray before the funeral directors took him. We had a wonderful funeral in the Bountiful Orchard 6th Ward where we had lived for 47 years on Saturday, May 14. Ray's body was laid to rest in the Bountiful Cemetery. 

Ray and I were blessed with sixty years together in courtship and companionship. No regrets. High school sweethearts who lived a perfectly imperfect and wonderful life. Our knowledge of the plan of salvation made the parting sweet. I miss Ray terribly, but have been overwhelmed with gratitude as my Comforter. Our pledge to "press forward" took on a new meaning as we lived the decade of Ray's exit from this life. He certainly continued in that mindset, despite the challenge and suffering he experienced. I chose and will continue choose to press forward.

I'm blessed with good health, friends, and family. I took up pickleball with other senior neighbors. I began a service mission at the Church History Library and enjoying serving as a docent there. I'm planning a trip to Hawaii this year so I can rightfully check off that last of the 50 states. Perhaps I'll be inspired to update this blog in another decade when I turn ninety.

I do have a small regret at this writing. The fall after Ray died, our son, David, reconnected with a classmate he has known since 6th grade. They both turned 50-years old within a year of their first phone call. Dave and Rosie King married on October 4, 2024, at their new home in Gilbert, AZ. Rosie has a 17-year-old son, Jackson. I love them, and am so grateful to have them in my life.  I regret that Rosie and Jackson didn't know Ray. When they do meet, they will love him. I'm quite convinced that Ray had some hand in this blessed union. He and I prayed for this for 25+ years. So worth the wait!  Never give up! Press forward.